I’m blogging again. It’s about damn time. Sorry for the
absence of my voice. I haven’t known what to say.
I have no idea what to say about Trump. I can’t encourage
you from a genuine place in my heart that believes it will all be ok. Dude is
really fucking some shit up. And it’s too outrageous to laugh at. His tweets
are truly crazier than fiction. I could not make #45 up in a novel.
The #metoo campaign brings me hope. But more on that in a
different blog. I’m finally blogging again because of a few things.
1.
My wonderful therapist asked me, why I think I
must have answers, to have something to offer.
2.
I got a job (woohoo) which means I have a
laptop, which means I can write any old where I want.
3.
I’ve thought about what my wonderful therapist
asked me, and have come to believe that my deep need to always have the answers
is really unhealthy and likely fueled my lifelong struggle with anxiety. So
that’s been a fun process.
2018 is around the corner, we’ve made it through almost a
year with this guy. How have you been coping?
I have been trying my darndest to not bury my head in the
sand. I’m an all-or-nothing person – finding the middle is new for me. So, I
went from watching Trump’s every move on C-Span to pretending Trump doesn’t
exist. Neither of these options are good options. Neither brings perspective,
or answers, or an “okness” with not having answers.
Now I read a little more entertainment news than I used
to (Khloe Kardashian had a great Thanksgiving in Cleveland!). I read Fox News
(it makes me happy when they critique Trump, too) and NPR and RedState and
Politico. And I do it when I want to because I want to know. I don’t check in
every five minutes, as if not knowing the latest idiotic tweet or repeal could
make or break society as we know it.
I like knowing stuff. I like having answers. Letting go
of this has been really hard. I’ve had some great discussions with my husband
about what he knows. He knows history. He understands the context of “normal”
for a presidency, far beyond what I know. I took a history course on the
Vietnam War in undergrad. It’s been helpful in easily comparing Trump to Nixon.
But one course, spanning 15 years of incredibly fucked up choices by U.S.
presidents and leaders, does not actually provide much perspective.
I find that people tell me I post a lot of political stuff and I wonder what does everyone else in the world talk about? Like I'm totally down to watch puppy videos and how to highlight and contour and find out what is happening the Kardashians what do you do do when you you're just scrolling fb and a senator's penis pops up in all it's pixelated glory? Do you just keep scrolling or do you stop and say what the fuck and find out what the hell is going on?
ReplyDeleteI just don't know how you go on and say oh well, this isn't affecting me so I don't care. Because all of this, all of this, is going to affect us at some point and when it eventually does are you just going to say I didn't want to get involved?
I heard or read somewhere recently that it’s better to immediately over react and apologize later than it is to do nothing an wait and see and then your window of opportunity closes and your trapped in the consequences of having done nothing. I think this is something I’m going to live by.
ReplyDeleteHurray for blogging! I am bad at actually blogging myself, but I look forward to reading your posts. When it comes to political things, I usually use my husband as filter being a HSP. but at the same time, I read twitter a lot and there is no denying that this president is crazy. I think what bugs me the most is that while perhaps we may very rarely have some these rude thoughts that the President seems to have every day, we don't go blasting it from the internet daily. Especially if we were in public office we would tone it down a little and he does not.
ReplyDeleteAs for writing, I think its a good outlet to help with anxiety. It's helped with mine as it helps me to pinpoint what the mess in my head is all about and just get it out of there. Perhaps by writing, thinking you have to have all the answers will be a discovery to know its okay not to. Hugs lady!
Awe, thanks, friend! I too appreciate your husband's political perspective. there are times that I feel I can't take all the bad anymore.
Delete